gender and the what if.

I absolutely love being female. Being a girl is such an amazing thing. Yes we go through the pains of PMS and child birth, but in the broader view of things... being a girl is amazing. Girls can let out emotions like a raging maniac, and it's normal. A girl can be loose with her sexuality and get no slack for it later on. Females everywhere can get special privileges just because they are a girl.

You know what's not fair? Being a boy. I would hate to be a guy. Honestly, what special privileges do they get? When do they get to be open with their sexuality? Why can't boys be fashionable and wear makeup?

I see girls dress like boys all the time. Short hair, baggy pants, no makeup, ratty shirt.
But how often do you see a boy dressing like a girl? It really is an unfair double standard.


I remember once when I was around ten or eleven I saw this woman in the store. She was beautiful. She had long slender legs, short bobbed brown hair, and flawless makeup. I commented to my mom about how pretty she was when my mom told me she was in fact a he. I was fascinated. This man was so sure of himself that he wore a dress, high heels, and makeup. He was beautiful.

I wish everyone could be this confident with themselves.




And now I'm just going off into several tangents and I need to stop typing. Until next time.

Why?

Why do people claim to detest hypocrites? Every single human on the face of this Earth is a hypocrite. Everyone.

Don't believe me? Here's an example:

boy: Jeez I cannot stand it when people act differently in front of friends.
girl: yeah it's whatever.
boy: well I can't stand it.

LATER THAT DAY WHEN BOY IS WITH FRIENDS.

girl: you're acting like a different person, seriously... who are you?
boy: fuck no I'm not I'm just being a dude and shit.
girl: you almost never curse, what's your problem?



^ Examples explain everything.

My feelings on gay marriage/rights.

Yes I know, CONTROVERSIAL TOPIC. Well get over it. I'm going to say what I think and if you don't like it go elsewhere.

I 100% support gay marriage and rights.


My first reason is this: Love. With all the horrible things that happen in this world, all the hate and destruction.. why would any person want to stop any kind of love? Gender shouldn't be a factor in love. It's love no matter what. Marriage is a union between two people, and equal partnership that joins two people that are in love and want to spend the rest of their lives together. Why should gender get in the way of this? Why? Nearly seventy percent of people in the U.S. oppose gay marriage, almost the same proportion as are otherwise supportive of gay rights. This means that many of the same people who are even passionately in favor of gay rights oppose gays on this one issue. Why this one issue? That just doesn't make sense to me. Ask almost anyone, they'll tell you they're in favor of equal rights for homosexuals. Just name the situation, and ask. They'll all say, yes, gays should have the same rights in housing, jobs, public accommodations, and should have equal access to government benefits, equal protection of the law, etcetera, etcetera. But when you bring up marriage everyone gets quiet. The equality stops there.


Now what I'm going to do is list the top reasons why people oppose gay marriage and then list my reasons as to why I believe them to be false.


1.Marriage is an institution between one man and one woman.
This is probably the most popular of the arguments. Yet, it's still pretty weak. Who decided who is allowed to marry and who isn't? It's a human right. It seems to me that if the straight community cannot show a compelling reason to deny the institution of marriage to gay people, it shouldn't be denied.

2. Marriage is for procreation.
For this one I went ahead and looked up marriage in the dictionary. This is what I found: the state, condition, or relationship of being married; wedlock. There isn't one thing in that definition that says anything about having children. Also, I know plenty of heterosexual couples that never have kids, nor do they plan on it. So if marriage is for procreation then they should be at fault as well right?

3. Same-sex couples aren't the optimum environment in which to raise children.
Ha, that's funny. Considering that many straight people are horrible parents. What about the children of murderers, felons, even child molesters? They are allowed children everyday. But of course they must be fit parents if they are straight right?

4. Gay relationships are immoral and violate the sacred institution of marriage.
Says who? The Bible? While I am a Christ follower I still promote gay rights. Why you may ask? Because I've moved my mind set on from 2000 years ago. I always thought that freedom of religion implied the right to freedom from religion as well. The Bible has absolutely no standing in American law and because it doesn't, no one has the right to impose rules anyone else simply because of something they perceive to be mandated by the Bible.

5. Marriage is traditionally a heterosexual institution.
This is morally the weakest argument. Slavery was also a traditional institution, based on traditions that went back to the very beginnings of human history. But by the 19th century, humankind had realized the evils of that institution, and has since largely abolished it. Why not recognize the truth, that there is no moral ground on which to support the tradition of marriage as a strictly heterosexual institution, and remove the restriction?

6. Gay sex is unnatural.
This argument, obviously referring to sodomy and oral sex, betrays a considerable ignorance of behavior in the animal kingdom. The fact is that among the approximately 1500 animal species whose behavior has been extensively studied, homosexual behavior in animals has been described in at least 450 of those species. The reality is that it is so common that it begs for an explanation, and biologists have proposed a wide variety of explanations to account for it. The fact that it is so common also means that it has evolutionary significance, which applies as much to humans as it does to other animal species.

7. If gay marriage is legalized, homosexuality would be promoted in the public schools.
Now this just doesn't make sense. Do they typically preach heterosexual marriage in schools and I'm just not aware of it? I mean, gay marriage is already legal in some countries and even states in the US. And I haven't heard of any school promoting gay marriage, let alone straight marriage.

8. Same-sex marriage would start us down a "slippery slope" towards legalized incest, bestial marriage, polygamy and all manner of other horrible consequences.
If concern over the "slippery slope" were the real motive behind this argument, the advocate of this line of reasoning would be equally vocal about the fact that today, convicted murderers, child molesters, known pedophiles, drug pushers, pimps, black market gun dealers, etc., are quite free to marry, and are doing so every day. Where's the outrage? Of course there isn't any, and that lack of outrage betrays their real motives. This is an anti-gay issue and not a pro marriage or child protection issue.




So here's my conclusion to anyone reading this. The arguments above are basically completely ridiculous and violate the human right to marry. Love is love no matter what and we as human beings shouldn't stop it. Also, I'll let you all know (because I'm sure you wondering) I am not gay. In fact I am very straight. I just thought about this issue in a lot of depth and felt I should post my views on it. I believe in equality for everyone, everyone.

second grade.

So, you're probably thinking, 'huh... what about first grade?' Well folks I skipped first grade, it never happened for me. So on to second.


Second grade was one of my best years. Altough I was younger and smaller than everyone I was just as smart. I knew how to read, count, my colors, animals, all that jazz. And I had the best teacher I have ever had. Her name was Miss Fisher and I loved her. She was a short, stout woman that was 25 at the oldest. She had short dirty blonde hair and glasses. Personality wise she was hysterical and caring. Noone ever got into trouble in Miss Fisher's class because we all loved her so much we alway listened. When she got married the entire class was invited. She made learning fun and exciting. Our projects were never boring or pointless. I learned so much from that class, things I will never forget.


This is the year that my biological father moved to North Carolina. He took his new wife and new shiny car to start a new life on the other side of the country. I was devestated. Although my dad had let me down before I still loved him. I would fly out there and visit him now and then.. but things just weren't the same. I had a step-mom in the way now. The days of daddy and Ashlee were forever gone.

My mom had married my step-father at this point and I loved him immediately. He filled in the spot of my father and more. My second little brother was born when I was seven years-old. I loved him so much and took him everywhere with me.



The second grade, THE END.

How it feels.

I have only been heart broken twice in my entire life.
Actually, it's kind of funny to say 'my entire life' considering my life isn't even half-way over. But that's not the point. I have only ever really loved two boys in my 17 years of life. Of course I'm not going to say their real names on here not only for the boys sake, but also mine.

Let's call boy number one, William. (this has absolutely no relation to the said persons real name.) Anyway, I loved William more than I have ever loved any human being. More than I ever thought it possible to love someone. When he had pain, I felt it. When he was happy so was I. And so on and so on. I gave my everything to him. I spent hours upon hours of time trying to think of ways to make him happy. I hung on his every word and touched him every chance I had. I wanted to be a part of, just melt into his skin and forever be his. And he loved me the same way. It was what love was supposed to be. Pure, innocent, irrevocable, and giving. But as time wore on we grew up. We were forcing eachother to love when we just couldn't anymore. William was my very first love. And while he hurt me in many ways I will always have some place for him. Some part of me will always love him.


The second boy, let's call him James was completely different in everyway possible. He was the polar opposite of William. And he was someone I never thought possible to love. James found me when I was in a sad state and he picked me up off the ground and fixed me up. He brushed me off, told me I was beautiful even when I wasn't, and kissed me better. He made everything feel good and happy. He made me want to smile even when I was angry. James had this special and rare quality that I will never forget as long as I live. He could give others strength when they had none for themselves. I didn't even realize how much I loved him until I couldn't have him anymore. He is the first boy to ever break up with me. I know there is a part of me that wants to hate him... but I just don't.

the first years

My first childhood memories begin when I'm two years-old. I remember my house, how although it was small it was warm and cute. Quaint you might say. The walls were a light creamy color in every room. Outside we had a garden that I spent a lot of my time in. My mother loves sunflowers so we had a jungle of the tall flowers against the back wall. I loved running through them and pretending I was a tiger. We had a pet frog that lived among our garden and would always eat the bugs.

Now my parents, (meaning my mother and biological father), I don't really ever remember them being together. I remember them yelling at each other sometimes, I remember them cooking together, and I remember they both loved me. Other than that I don't remember.

When my mom left my dad I was 2 1/2. We lived with a friend of hers for a while until we got our own apartment.

So here starts memories with my mom in the first years:
-taking baths together (she would always get upset when I ate the bubbles)
-riding the city bus to get places because we didn't have a car
-our tiny Christmas tree with no lights just beads


Every weekend I would spend time with my dad who lived with my grandmother.
-him attempting to do my hair
-when I was afraid of sleeping in my bunk bed I slept with him
-we would make my beanie babies talk



Those are the first years. All that I remember anyway. I know it's a bit random and cluttered but that's how my memories of being two years-old are.